for those seeking shelter

Cities of Refuge was born, out of personal grief and trauma, for those looking for sheltering help along the path to healing.

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a work in progress

I have grown acutely aware of my own and other’s language when speaking of healing, not because I think healing impossible, but because I think I, and perhaps we, are impatient with process, My church experience is that we tell our stories of sorrow and shame only as post-resurrection stories rather than mid-suffering. Mid-sorrow. Mid-uncertainty. Mid-wandering. Stories.

I have spent considerable energy on some imagined point of arrival even as I have been learning to live in the smaller spaces right in front of me- the spaces of grief, trauma, anxiety, uncertainty, and confusion. Spaces occupied at the very same time by hope and faith and love.

Cities of Refuge is intentionally a work in progress as I learn to live in those smaller spaces and as I seek to figure out how to tell my story in hopes that it might provide some shelter and perhaps a bridge to healing for you in your story.

let’s build this together

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine-

“In the shelter of each other, we live.”

Irish Proverb

Coaching

In my own journey of healing I continually encounter both my own old wounds unhealthily covered over and also many fellow walking wounded, folks who carry the grief and shame of trauma without the necessary provisions for the journey toward health. Cities of Refuge exists to help bridge the gap between these needs and existing resources. We are here to support, encourage, and guide you toward healing. Yes, there is healing. Click the button to learn more about coaching.

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Testimonials

“In the nearly 15 years I have known Shaynor, he has walked with me through multiple crises with compassion, wisdom, and encouragement. During these periods, Shaynor served as a wise spiritual mentor, supplementing and supporting the work of licensed therapists without ever going outside of his expertise or training. In times of profound mental suffering the wisdom and love that he has shown me has been a lifeline. In my experience, it is rare to find someone with a deep understanding of theology and psychology who is also kind and wise. Shaynor has these qualities, which is why I am excited for him to begin coaching.”
—Alan Noble, PhD, Author
"Sometimes people are put in our lives just when we need them the most. When I met Shaynor I had been involved in a tragic accident. I was in a place of grief and deep despair. I felt alone, unworthy of kindness or forgiveness. There was no one in my life that I could share with that would understand.
When Shaynor began to talk to me, I heard a survivor speaking. He knew what I was going through. His words brought comfort, understanding, and over time healing. He listened and counseled with an open heart.
He taught me how to begin the journey of self healing and how to continue it day by day. It is a never ending journey but we are not alone.
I hope you will take a chance and reach out, as you too, are worthy or healing".—Annette, Fellow CADI
I have known Shaynor for four years and met him at a time when I was struggling to find and define my relationship with God. After leaving organized religion more than a decade ago, I struggled to find counsel that connected my past experiences to my current hesitations with religion. Shaynor understood my trauma, never judged me, and gave me resources (books, recommendations for churches, etc.) that helped me find my way. He approaches his work with such compassion and care that I believe he will be an excellent coach. I cannot recommend Shaynor highly enough!— Hollie Smith, PhD, University of Oregon