Welcome to Cities of Refuge

Welcome to the CoR blog. One of my first realizations after the accident was that we, in the church (and maybe everywhere), tend to privilege “resurrection” stories over stories from the midst of suffering and sorrow. The result is that we leave those among us who are still in the mirey clay feeling even more hopeless. However, as I found refuge in the Psalms, the prayerbook of the Bible, I learned that it is filled with prayers mid-sorrow, without answers, voicing questions from the darkness and into the void.

In that vain, a friend who teaches creative writing, encouraged me to write my thoughts and experiences as a process for healing. The creative writing exercise was to be given a topic, put pen to paper, write on that topic for ten minutes without stopping to correct grammar, punctuation, or thought-flow. That exercise has become a habit, especially when I’m stuck trying to get out what I’m feeling or thinking,

I will post some of those writings here, but I will also try to write newer posts from that same practice that resists trying to perfect the story. I admit, this is a bit scary, but I also hope it reflects something of the struggle it is to live in faith while struggling on deep deep existential levels. Please forgive me where my words are clumsy, inarticulate, or unhelpful.

One additional note: As I have learned about trauma and healing, I have looked for ways to engage my body in creativity. One small application has been to write everything, and I mean everything, in cursive. This has forced me to slow my pace and engage in the physical dynamics of writing, not simply focusing on the ideas. If you’re on a similar journey, you may find this helpful, not necessarily writing in cursive, though you may, but certainly looking for ways that make sense for you to reconnect with your body.